


the one with all the cats

by sinequanon



Series: tiny avengers [12]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-21 11:54:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21074471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinequanon/pseuds/sinequanon
Summary: Cats may or may not be taking over the Tower. Also, they might not be cats.





	the one with all the cats

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, this was written months before _Captain Marvel_ came out, so the presence of what may or may not be flerken in this story is completely coincidental. Second, I’m not satisfied with the ending, but I’ve already changed it once, so this will have to do. Third, apologies to anyone who likes banana milkshakes.
> 
> Enjoy!

The only thing everyone could agree on was that Hypatia was an actual cat (though privately, there were also suggestions that she was part bear, part elephant, or the Devil.) Her coat was a mix of white and grey, with sporadic patches of black, she had the same piercing golden eyes that all cats that knew they were better than you seemed to have, and she was easily the biggest cat any of them had ever seen outside of the internet.

Tony loved her instantly, despite her tendency to hide U’s toys in seemingly impossible places and the way she managed to take up much more space on Tony's bed every night than should have been possible.

It would remain forever a mystery as to _ how _ she had managed to make it into Avengers Tower, inside an elevator, and onto the common floor without human (or AI) assistance, but she was _ definitely _ a real cat. 

The veterinarian that Tony had brought in said so (and she had the bite marks to prove it).

Really, Tony couldn't get rid of Hypatia even if he'd wanted to; not with the way Lila spent hours petting her, or the way Cooper pretended not to care about her but let Hypatia lay across his lap while he played video games, or the way that Nate squealed in delight every time he caught sight of the monster cat.

Not that the Barton kids’ opinions should have mattered considering they were temporary residents (_and just how long do couples cruises last, anyway_?), but Nate had decided three days into their stay that the only thing he liked better than giant cats was Tony, and Tony couldn't help but be charmed by that much unconditional love thrown in his direction at one time, so Tony's once-sacred workshop had quickly been overrun by Bartons befriending bots, an impressive amount of fire extinguisher foam, and one monster cat watching over them all like the fearsome lady she was.

<> <>

Indira, for all that she was no bigger than Nate’s favorite stuffed animal, was also a cat. Probably.

She looked sufficiently cat-like, despite her diminutive size, but no one was sure where (or how) the Hulk had acquired her. Except, you know, India, where Bruce had been volunteering for the past two months. Honestly, it was probably better not to ask questions.

(There were most likely Customs or quarantine requirements for bringing a foreign pet into the United States, but who was going to argue with the Hulk over his new best friend? No one, that’s who.) 

Whereas Hypatia took up enough space for three or four cats, Indira was a tiny bit of black lightning—blink and you miss her, except for her sentry of the common floor coffee pot from 2:00 to 4:00 in the morning, where she liked to sit imperiously on top of the refrigerator and glare at anyone who might still be awake and looking for coffee at that time.

So, basically Tony. After the third scare, the genius was halfway convinced that JARVIS had somehow trained Indira to make those judgy eyes at him, though there was no way to prove it. Bruce told Tony he was projecting, Lila tried to teach Indira more Tony-watching habits, Rhodey laughed himself silly, and Nate mostly drooled.

Cooper agreed with Tony (after being caught during a late night snack binge), as did Bucky, who was awake almost as often as Tony (and if the ex-assassin was wary of the tiny eyes of judgement, Tony didn’t feel quite so embarrassed by the scream he let loose that time Indira jumped onto the counter next to him).

It was a good thing she was adorable, to make up for all the potential heart attacks.

(That, and the sheer deluge of positive PR that the Hulk received for being best friends with a tiny cat made everything else worth it.)

<> <>

It was entirely possible that Hatshepsut was _ not _ a cat, though she was certainly good at pretending to be one.

Hatshepsut arrived at the Tower under dubious circumstances; that is to say, there was a flash of light in the common room where everyone was playing a game, and then there was a cat sitting in the middle of the board.

(So, maybe a cat, or maybe a creature that only looked like a cat to lull everyone into a false sense of security, but would someday shapeshift into something much scarier and murder them all in their sleep. Not that Tony put it like that in front of the kids.)

As a group, they decided to name the maybe-cat after a famous queen, on the chance that she would spare their lives if she _was_ there for world domination purposes. Well, Cooper suggested it, Lila seconded it, and Nate stuck his fist in his mouth, so he probably agreed. Bruce and Tony were too busy trying to figure out the teleportation angle to offer other suggestions, while Bucky double-checked that there were no other invading felines. (He didn’t find any, but that didn’t mean much.) And really, if there _was_ a cat-like creature who wanted to take over the world, she could do much worse than recruit the monster cat and tiny tyrant of the Tower to her side.

The worries of world domination didn’t last as long as they probably should have, because it became obvious rather quickly that Hatshepsut was not particularly cut out for conquest; she much preferred napping on anyone who would let her (including DUM-E and U) at all hours of the day or night. 

(If Indira gave people dirty looks for being in the kitchen at 3:00 in the morning, Hatshepsut glared if her chosen pillow was not available for her to sleep on when and where she willed it. It was astonishingly effective.)

The reddish-brown cat loved cuddling with Lila, riding on Bucky’s shoulders, and eating banana milkshakes.

(The Banana Milkshake Incident, as it would heretofore forever be known, was both horrifying and fascinating to the scientists in Bruce and Tony; on one hand, a regular cat could get very sick from eating a milkshake, so if Hatshepsut _ didn’t _ get sick, she might be an alien. On the other hand, anything that liked banana milkshakes was likely a little off already. In the end, the maybe-cat didn’t get sick, but the next few hours were thoroughly unpleasant for everyone. The results were deemed inconclusive.)

On the bright side, nothing invaded, either.

<> <>

By the time Thor and Loki came to visit four months later, the Barton kids were regular fixtures around the tower, the cats had their own floor (that they never stayed on), and the bots had started leaving random pictures of cats around in the hopes that it would magically attract yet another new friend.

(The more likely scenario, in Tony's opinion, was that Bucky would go on a mission and return with a furry souvenir. Still, considering how they'd managed to acquire their other cats, the bots' plans weren't outside the realm of possibility.)

Tony thought that if anyone knew anything about mysteriously-appearing felines, if would be Loki, but the trickster was annoyingly vague about the whole thing. He did say that the cats were content with their current living situation and that Tony need not worry, which in Loki speak could have meant anything.

Tony probably should have worried anyway, but he was already too fond of the cats to bother. He just hoped Hypatia let him keep the bed after they took over.

**Author's Note:**

> To my thinking, Hypatia and Indira are definitely cats. Hatshepsut is a gift from Loki, so...
> 
> I am way behind on comments because I still don’t have regular internet, but I hope to get to them soon. I’m shooting for this weekend.
> 
> I appreciate your support, and thanks for reading!


End file.
